Broken Soldier
by ladywhiplasher
Summary: After a fight with Skipper, Kowalski and the rest of the team decide to leave him and the zoo. All alone, Skipper has to do his missions until he s becoming aware of what he d done. With no one to help him, he s getting in trouble he wouldn t ever imagine
1. Training  til you drop

Broken Soldier

1. Training ´til you drop

"All right, men. Let´s get up! We´ve got many things to do!" Skipper´s stern voice sounded inside the HQ. Kowalski groaned and turned around in his bed. With half closed eyes he looked at the clock. "Good God, Skipper. It´s 4AM. What´s so important for getting up this early? Again?" the scientist growled. Since the team had had a few failed missions recently, Skipper was focused more than ever to keep the team on red alert all the time.

The leader himself almost didn´t dare to sleep at all. He was ready for an attack from his enemies all around the clock. His paranoia was on a whole new level and so he, demanded the same from his team. Kowalski really was getting annoyed, because he was constantly tired and he hadn´t even time for his inventions anymore.

Private and Rico were on Kowalskis side. Both couldn´t even keep their eyes open from all the training and recon duties anymore. Last week, Private even collapsed from sheer exhaution while they training topside. Kowalski diagnosed a dehydration and a physical burn out. But Skipper didn´t care about it.

"Get up, soldiers. That´s an order!" Skipper growled threatingly. In a flash, the three penguins were on their feet. They didn´t want to make their leader even more upset, because they all knew, that disobeying would end in much more training.

So they went on top of their HQ and started as usual. After a few hours the sun dawned and Skipper decided that it was time for a little breakfast. The penguins ate without a word. Tired, they watched their leader eating his fish and drinking his coffee, while the other three chewed their fish like it was bubble gum.

They weren´t even hungry, but they had to obey. Kowalski noticed that Skipper had bloodshot eyes and deep edges below them. He knew, that their leader was on his own physical limits. "Skipper, don´t you think, that´s time for a break from all the training? I mean, it makes no sense. Even if we would get into a fight, we all would collapse from sheer exhaustion, before even throwing a punch" Kowalski asked, but Skipper´s face darkened while he was asking.

"Are you doubting on my leadership? Do you think I´m going nuts?" Skipper growled, trying to sound calm, but Kowalskis question had started a sudden rage inside him. "No, no, no. I just want a break, for god´s sake. I mean, take a look at yourself. You look like a zombie, Skipper!" Kowalski burst out and stood up. Private and Rico were just watching, none of them wanted to get involved into the fight.

"Oh yeah? Do you think that? Maybe I´m not that weak, like you guys. I don´t complain about a litte sleep deprivation. I´m always ready. And so should you!" Skipper yelled and got up too. He and the scientist were watching each other closely, both growling. "Okay, maybe a little more and harder training will beat those thoughts outta your mind, Kowalski! Topside, pronto!" the leader orderd finally.

Kowalski growled again, but he didn´t respond, trying to keep Skipper as calm as possible. Their breakfast just half eaten up, they went to the ladder again. Skipper went ahead. "Thanks, Kowalski" Private growled sarcastically and threw an angry gaze at him. Rico muttered something not understandable, but he sounded angry too.

All three slipped through the hatch, watching Skipper taking a deep breath of fresh morning air. He turned around, looking at his tired men. "Fine, let´s start. I thing 50 laps in the pool will wake you up!" he barked with a grin on his face. Kowalski, Private and Rico sighed, but they jumped into the cold water. After just 10 they were about to collapse, but Skipper told them to stay in the pool.

10 more laps later, Kowalski couldn´t hold out for longer anymore. With his last strengh he climbed out of the water. "What do you think are you doing?" Skipper asked with an annoyed expression. "Bathroom" Kowalski gasped and went down the hatch again. Private and Rico looked at each other, puzzled. They saw Skipper nodding and continued before the leader recognized they had stopped the training.

Down the ladder Kowalski quickly waddled into his lab. After 5 minutes he returned to his team, holding Skippers coffee mug in his flippers. "What is that about, Kowalski?" Skipper asked a little confused, staring at his scientist. "Nothing, I just wanted to do you a little favor, hoping you´ll finally quit this hard training. But it seems I´ve failed already" Kowalski responded with a slight grin on his face, which no one of them noticed. Skipper took the mug and sniffed at it suspiciously.

"Oh God, do you think I´m going to poison you now?" Kowalski growled, crossing his flippers over his chest. "You wouldn´t dare to" Skipper answered and took a sip. He swallowed, but he noticed, that it really was just plain coffee. "Okay, thank you. Now continue" Skipper said, but the scientist didn´t move.

A few seconds later Skipper felt slightly dizzy, but he tried to ignore, because he thought it would be caused by fatigue. The leader yawned loudly. "Are you getting tired, Skipper? Don´t you wanna take a nap?" Kowalski asked with a grin on his face. "No, I just..." Skipper muttered and collapsed. "Skipper!" Private and Rico shouted and watched Kowalski catching their unconscious leader before hitting the ground. "Finally" the scientist sighed.

"What have done, Kowalski? Did you put something in his coffee?" Private asked a little scared. "Yes of coures I´ve put something in his coffee. It was about time, I can´t take it anymore" Kowalski burst out, panting. "So he´s just sleeping?" Private asked and looked at his leader, who had his eyes shut tightly and his coffee spread all over his chest and belly.

"You´re going to be in so much trouble when he wakes up" Private said, looking sternly at Kowalski. "What choice did I have, Private? He wanted us to train until we drop dead. He´ll sleep for a couple of hours for now and so will I. Who´s with me?" the scientist asked and Rico and Private raised their flippers, but with worried expressions on their faces. They knew Skipper is going to kill Kowalski when he wakes up again.

Slowly Rico took the sleeping leader and they went down the HQ again. The mad penguin put Skipper into his bunk and after that, he climbed into his own. "Okay, he´ll sleep for at least 5 hours now. I gotta set the alarm clock, so we will be awake before he is" Kowalski murmured to himself, while Private and Rico were asleep already. With a satisfied sigh, Kowalski rested his head on his pillow and fell asleep within seconds. He had no idea in which trouble he brought himself into.


	2. A Nasty Fight

2. A Nasty Fight

Approximately 8 hours later, Skipper awoke, desoriented and slightly dizzy. "God, what happened?" he mumbled, rubbing his temples. "Good morning, Skipper. Did you sleep well?" Private said cheerfully after he had got a couple of hours of sleep. "Well, I think so, Private. How late is it?" Skipper asked, slightly confused that he wasn´t the first to awake this morning.

Suddenly, Private winced and looked stern at Kowalski. They didn´t think about the time. "Hello? Answer my question!" the leader said impatiently. "Uhm, Skipper. I think we slept a little longer than we use to" Kowalski stammered, rubbing his flipper nervously. "What do you want to say with that?" Skipper growled, narrowing his eyes. He looked at the clock and it was already 1600 hours.

"What the...?" he burst out. Skipper turned around and looked at his slightly frightened team, with an enraged expression on his face. Then it hit him like a slap in the face. "I remember getting up this morning and we started to train as usual. But everything else is just one big blackout" the leader mumbled to himself. "Well, Skipper. We all have been really exhausted and tired, maybe you just wanted to take a nap after the training and you really fell in a deep sleep" Private whispered, preparing for an upcoming outburst from his leader.

"No, I just remember that Kowalski brought me a cup of coffee and I wouldn´t have fallen asleep when I had some coffee" Skipper continued, rubbing the underside of his beak thoughtfully. But then he accidently looked down on his body and saw that his chest and belly was drenched in coffee. Now the leader realized what had really happened to him. "Kowalski, you didn´t do anything with my coffee, do you?" Skipper growled angrily and made a step towards the scientist.

Kowalski made a step back, pressing himself against the wall. "No, Skipper. How can you thing of such nonsense at all?" Kowalski muttered, but the leader didn´t believe him. "So, you really think that I just passed out from drinking ´normal´ coffee? You can´t fool anyone here. You anesthetized me, you really dared to drug me up!" Skipper yelled at him.

"You´ve left me no choice, Skipper! You really have gone to far with all the training and stuff. We´re no robots, which are bearing any of your moods. We´re your friends and not your slaves!" Kowalski yelled back, unable to controll his supressed anger anymore. "We are an elite commando unit, not just four guys training for fun. I just want my team to be ready for an attack anytime!" Skipper answered, heavily breathing from his rage.

"You don´t get it, Skipper. You´re just some paranoid freak! I don´t want to do this anymore. I can´t take it anymore, what kind of leader are you actually?" Kowalski screamed, taking a step forward to Skipper. Private sobbed quietly and hid behind Rico, who was frozen from confusion and nervousness. The leader and the scientist looked like their wanted to kill each other. "You will do, what I´ve order you to. I don´t care what you want, Kowalski. You will do what I think is the best for this team" Skipper growled hatefully.

"Team? You really think that we are still a so called team. It´s always about you!" Kowalski growled back angrily. "Yes we are, Kowalski. Or does anyone else here think something else?" Skipper asked and looked over to Rico and Private, who successfully held themselves out of the fight until now. "Well, Skipper. Do you think that you kinda pushed us a little to far?" Private whimpered and Rico nodded agreeing. "You know what? I really forgot to teach you some discipline for you commanding officer" Skipper snarled.

"With all my respect, Skipper. But you need to pay attention to our wishes too. We used to have so much fun and I really miss the good old times, Skipper" Private said and stepped from behind Rico. "Forget it, Private. Skipper won´t listen to any reasonable arguments" Kowalski interrupted. "Enough, Kowalski. You´ve done too much damage to this team!" Skipper screamed and slapped across Kowalskis face.

With a loud groan the scientist fell to the ground, rubbing his cheek. "So that´s it, Skipper. I´ll quit! I´ll quit being a part of this unit! And if you two were sane enough, you should do the same!" Kowalski growled and looked at Private and Rico. "Oh, fine. Then leave! I don´t wanna see you ever again!" Skipper yelled and pointed his flipper to the entrance. Kowalski waddled to the closet on the wall and fetched a suitcase.

"What about you two?" Skipper yelled at Private and Rico. Both had to make a hard desicion now, but they didn´t want to live this terrible life anymore. "I´m sorry, Skipper, but I´ll join Kowalski" Private whimpered and fetched another suitcase, where he put in his Lunacorn and this Peanut Butter Winkies. "Rico?" Skipper asked, looking sternly at his weapons expered. "I´m sorry" he grunted and grabbed his dolly girlfriend.

After five minutes, Kowalski, Private and Rico had packed their bags and where ready to leave. "I just hope you´ll realize that you made a huge mistake. Farewell" Kowalski snarled and climbed up the ladder. Private sobbed quietly because he was so sad about leaving his home. "Good bye, Skipper" he whimpered and spread his wings, to give his leader one last hug, but Skipper just pushed him away and crossed his flippers over his chest.

Private wíped a tear form his eyes and followed Kowalski. Rico threw a disappointed gaze at his former leader, but he didn´t even say goodbye. Skipper watched them, climbing up the ladder and chuckled with an evil undertone. "Finally I have my space. I can do what I want now and no weak wimps will stop me!" Skipper yelled after them, but they just closed the entrance with the fishbowl and walked away.


	3. Misson Gone Wrong

3. Mission gone wrong

"Don´t dare ever coming back again, you traitors!" Skipper screamed after them, but his voice just echoed from the cold walls around him. No one answered. They were gone, no one knew where they were going. But Skipper just carried on with his own business of training and solo missions. Day after day he seemed to enjoy the benefits of loneliness more and more. The leader could do what he wanted to.

The only thing he had trouble with was hiding it from the whole zoo. Skipper didn´t want anybody to find out that he was alone now, because everyone around him would have tried to help him or comfort him. Actually he didn´t feel anything about his friends, which abandoned the leader. He even wasted no thought for them.

But two weeks after hard training and some solo missions, Skipper felt a little bored of what he was doing everyday. The leader wanted to do something dangerous and adventurous. Skipper was sitting on the concrete table, taking a sip of his coffee as King Julien burst into the HQ, followed by Mort and Maurice. The lemur was running in circles from sheer anger and screamed on top of his lungs. "What´s the deal, ringtail?" Skipper asked, utterly bored by Juliens behaviour.

"Someone stole my crown!" Julien growled, narrowing his wide eyes. "So what?" Skipper answered, swirling his coffee inside the mug. All of the sudden, Julien grabbed him by his flippers and pulled him to his face. "Get it back!" the lemur screamed, while Maurice and Mort were rolling they´re eyes.

"Ringtail, I wanna do something dangerously. Not the same old stuff over and over again" Skipper groaned and released himself from the lemurs grasp. "Please! I can not be living without it. I can´t sleep, I can´t eat, I can´t do anything anymore!" the lemur lamented and covered his eyes with his paws. The leader sighed loudly. "Fine, I´ll get your crown back" Skipper said, but Maurice interrupted him. "Uhm, you? You, alone? Where´re the other guys?" the chubby lemur asked, curiously looking around.

Now Skipper winced at this question. "Well, uhm. I´ve sent them on... vaccation. You know, they deserved some spare time" Skipper explained, nervously rubbing the back of his neck, but no one noticed. "Well, back to the missing crown. Where did you see it the last time?" the leader asked to avoid any further questions about his friends. "Uhm, excellent question. I think it was yesterday. Right, I remember going to sleep wearing it, but this morning it was gone" Julien explained and Skipper nodded.

"Allright, ringtail. I´ll go and look for it. Just relax and don´t do anything,,,, stupid, like following me and interrupting my mission, okay?" Skipper said, with a stern tone in his voice. "Okay, thank you, silly penguin" Julien giggled and left the HQ along with his loyal subjects. Skipper groaned loudly, because he actually didn´t want to do this. He started searching the zoo for it and the Central Park, but the crow was no where to be seen.

"Allright, let´s go underground" the thought to himself and entered the sewer. He drew his flashlight, which he had to carry around by himself now and lit the room. Everything looked as disgusting as usual and the appalling stink of the sewer penetrated the penguins nostrils. All of the sudden Skipper heard some voices from around the corner. It sounded like a wild party.

"Rats!" Skipper growled quietly and pushed his back on the cold wall to hide himself. Quickly the leader turned off the flashlight, but suddenly a huge shadow approached him inch by inch. "You?" the Rat King asked. "Well, yes. But I don´t have much time to talk. Did you see a leaf crown? You know, actually the same one we where fighting for one time ago? The fight were I defeated you?" Skipper asked, adding a slight chuckle to his last words.

The big rat growled. "Yes I remember it and yes, we stole them once more. But this time, you won´t get it back" he said, crossing his muscular arms over his chest. "Oh yeah? I wiped the ground with you remember? And you dare challenging me once more?" Skipper hissed provokingly, crossing his flippers over his chest as well. "Well, the crown is not in my possession anymore. It was a gift for my big brother, who came for a visit. He has it and I´m sure he´ll be glad to meet you" the rat king said, grabbing Skippers flipper and dragging him along.

The rat king brought him to the middle of the rats party and looked around. "Hey, my dear brother, look who´s here, trying to steal your crown" the king called and suddenly a huge shadow moved on the wall. Skipper looked up to the pile of muscles walking towards him. He was even bigger than the rat king and he looked really pissed off. "Who is this?" the rat´s brother asked with a deep, growling voice and his eyes were focused on the penguin.

"That´s the guy, who kicked my butt a long time ago. I told you that story, he just hurt me so badly" the rat king whimpered with a fake sob. "Weenie" Skipper whispered, but the rat king´s brother heard the leaders comment. "So birdie, you´re the one, who hurt my brother? Guess what, you´re gonna pay for that" the big rat growled, his face coming closer to Skipper. The leader smelt the stinky breath of the mammal, but seconds after he felt a sharp pain in his stomach.

Skipper gasped loudly as the rat buried his fist into the penguins stomach, while the rat king was still holding him. Heavily breathing, Skipper tried to dodge the next punch, but the rat was faster and smashed the leader against the wall. He fell on his belly and struggled getting on his feet again.

"Nice, a lady´s punch" Skipper gasped, pressing his flipper on his stomach. But this sentence pushed the rat king´s brother over the edge. "Don´t dare to make fun of me!" he yelled and lunged at Skipper, who tried to defend himself, but the rat king grabbed hold of his flippers, so the leader had to feel the brutal force of the rat.

The next minutes, Skipper went through a hell of pain and agony. Both rats attacked him, so the leader wasn´t able to fight back or even defend himself. The rat king grabbed his flippers everytime he tried to make a move of defence or attacking and twisted them, shortly before breaking the penguins bones.

Skipper yelled in pain when he felt another punch into his already aching stomach. Everything around him started to blurr, he just felt pain. After more minutes of agony, the leader laid on the ground, gasping and groaning. Every part of his body hurt like hell, he almost didn´t dare to move anymore.

"What now, little birdie? It hurts, right?" the big rat chuckled and stamped his foot on Skippers chest. The penguin felt his ribs crunching under the weight and let out a loud cry of pain. Skipper knew, he was defeated now. He writhred his body in pain and wrapped his wings around his chest. Skipper tasted blood inside his beak and felt that a plentiful amount had already left his body through all the injuries.

"Oh, look at him, he´s about to pass out any second" the rat king laughed loudly, increasing Skippers shame. "Well, I can help with that" the kings brother chuckled, grabbed Skippers feet and slammed the penguins body onto the opposite wall, where Skipper lost consciousness from the impact. The leader fell into the water and had been washed away from the flow of the sewer...


	4. Failed

4. Failed

Skipper floated in the water, down the sewer. It took a while until he regained consciousness again. When he woke up, he quickly tried to get out of the water, but every move brought him almost unbrearable pain. On a lower edge of the river, he managed to grab hold and pulled himself out of the water. Skipper coughed and spit out the water he´d swallowed.

But he collapsed on his belly again, heavily breathing. Now that he was awake again he felt the pain even more. "God, h-how could this happen?" he asked himself and groaned in pain. His belly felt like a ball of throbbing pain and his flippers felt like every single bone was broken. Skipper had trouble breathing from his probably broken ribs in his chest.

The penguin shivered and let out a shout of pain, which echoed from the wall. The leader remained lying there in the sewer until he collected enough strengh for getting up. Slowly he pulled himself up and supported his beaten body on the wall. The penguins vision was still blurry and dizzyness took over his brain. Skipper felt his bloodshot eyes released some tears and he pressed his wing on his belly, grasping it in pain. Step by step he made his way home, but through all the pain it took about three hours of stumbling, collapsing and getting up again.

Skippers stomach hurt so badly, so he even had to throw up two times on his way back to the zoo. It was already 2300 hours when he arrived at the HQ, good for him, because no one noticed him returning. The last thing he needed now, was any comforting or worried action from his neighbours. "I will stand through this alone" Skipper gasped as he tried climbing down the ladder, but he fell down the last couple of stairs and landed on his aching back.

A loud scream of pain escaped his beak and writhred his body from the stinging pain. Skipper wanted to go to the bathroom, where a first aid kit laid, but he didn´t have the strengh for getting up anymore. The leader pushed his torso up with his flippers, but he failed and fell down again. "Damn!" Skipper gasped and crawled on his belly to get forward. Every move made him gasp or yell in pain.

At least his energy lasted long enough to drag himself into the bathroom where he pulled himself up on the sink. A look into the mirrow made his heart wrench. A face, bruised, covered with blood and with bloodshot eyes, stared back at him. "I´ve failed, I can´t believe it. I never fail..." Skipper whispered to himself and lowered his head in shame. He couldn´t even look into his own eyes anymore.

Skipper tightened his grasp on the edges of the sink and and let out an angry scream, which was followed by some loud gasps. When he opened his eyes, he looked down on his body. His once white feathers where drenched in blood and dirty. Quickly he closed his eyes again, because he couldn´t bear the shame of seeing his own beaten body.

But now he had to take care of all his injuries but the leader didn´t even know where to start. He fetched the first aid box from the shelf and opened it quickly. Skipper took a white cloth and dabbed the bleeding wounds on his chest and belly with it. Unfortunately this caused more burning pain and he had to stop from right after he´d started. Slowly he began examinating himself, with trembling flippers he palpated his chest and winced at almost every touch.

Skipper felt some ribs where broken and his heart painfully beating against them. He clenched his eyes and let his flipper slide down to his stomach, which was still filled with throbbing pain. "It´s no use, it´s the best I lie down" Skipper gasped and looked at a small white bottle, where he kept some painkillers. The leader took it with trembling, almost numb feeling flippers and opened the lid of it. He felt the pain increasing and swallowed three pills, one after another.

Slowly Skipper limped back to his bunk. Exhausted he laid down and curled himself up under a warm, soft blanket, which he usually never used, but he froze so much suddenly and he hoped that warmth and the pills would ease his pain a little at least. But he kept suffering, emotionally and physically. He tried to turn on his side, but he felt his bones in his flipper and shoulder crunching. A new wave of pain, flashed through his body and Skipper bit into his pillow to supress another scream of agony.

The leader had never felt so miserable in his life before. After the effect of the painkillers finally kicked in, he rested his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. But he was still in too much pain to fall asleep. Wearly he began rubbing his chest and belly, trying to relieve some pain of his sore muscles by a gentle massage. Well, it worked a little after a long time and Skipper fell asleep in the early morning hours.

But even in his sleep, he couldn´t find rest. Skipper saw the rat king and his brother laughing and pointing their fingers at him, which made his emotional condition even worse. The leader felt a stinging pain in his chest, everytime he heard a laugher. Although he was supposed to stay strong, he just wanted to cry. Skipper buried his head under his flippers and let out a few sobbs, hoping that no one would hear him.

The scene in his dream changed and he was alone in a dark room, but he still heard the laughing rats and even other voices, which sounded very familiar to him. Now he couldn´t hold himself back anymore and Skipper cried into his wings. The leader had never felt so lonely before. But he didn´t dare to think of his former friends, because he knew, that even a sinlge thought for them, would be unbearable for him now. Slowly he realized, that he made a huge mistake.


	5. Sinister Awakening

5. Sinister Awakening

Although Skipper had been tortured by nightmares this night, he managed to catch some sleep. He awoke very late. A loud and painful groan escaped through his beak, when he moved his body. Bones were crunching and his head was throbbing. Cautiously he turned to his side and with a slight blurry vision he took a look at the clock. It was already 1200 hours.

"Oh no" he gasped, hoping that nobody has noticed his absence. As much as he hated it, he tried to get out of his bed. "I have to make sure, that no one gets to know, what had happened. Guess I´ll have to do the ´cute and cuddly´ routine now" Skipper thought, with a weak smile. Slowly he dragged himself forward, by supporting himself on the wall. His flipper clutched his aching stomach and step by step he made his way to the bathroom.

He took a quick look into the mirror and gasped in shock. A bruised, blood-covered penguin looked back at him. His eyes narrowed from the pain he felt. Skipper let out a loud groan and bend his head over the sink, clutching the sides of it. With tightly shut eyes he began panting and even released a tear of despair and shame. The leader started trembling and took a breath to calm himself.

"You are strong, you have to make it through this. It´s just a stupid injury" he thought to himself, but even this encouraging words couldn´t ease his pain. With trembling flippers he reached for a towel and tried to wipe off the blood and dirt from his feather, to make his appearanche looking a little more normal and healthier. After he had finished, Skipper grabbed the small bottle with the painkillers and took another three ibuprofen pills.

"Okay, let´s do this" the leader said, stern, while he was staring into the mirrors reflection. Slowly he waddled back to the main room. Minute by minute he felt the pain getting a little easier. Skipper took a deep breath before climbing up the ladder and when he opened the hatch, bright sunlight was almost blinding him. A few people were standing in front of the penguin habitat, waiting for him.

Quickly he got out of the entrance and pesented himself to the audience. With a faked smile he tried to make a good show for the humans, but after a few minutes his body showed him, that his strengh was on its limits already. But he forced himself to continue until he felt his feet were getting numb. Gasping he watched the humans leaving the penguin habitat with a smile on their face. "I did it! I´ve made it all alone. Ahhh" Skipper mumbled, clutching his stomach from pain.

With his very last energy, Skipper dragged himself back to the entrance. But before he arrived, everything went black around him, the leader lost consciousness and collapsed on the ground from sheer exhaustion.

"Skipper! Hey, wake up, silly penguin!" he heard a familiar voice. Skipper groaned and felt that someone was slapping him. "Stop it, Ringtail!" the leader screamed and sat up. "Are you okay? You don´t look so good" Maurice asked, with a worried expression on his face. "I´m fine" the leader responded and brushed the dust off his feathers. "Did you find my crown?" Julien asked, but Skipper just shook his head. "No, I couldn´t find it anywhere. Looks like it´s time for you to get another one" Skipper mumbled, trying hard to hide the pain he felt steaming though his body.

"Well, Mort bring me my second crown" Julien ordered and the small lemur made his way to the lemur habitat. "But there is one tiny question. You´ve never failed a mission, penguin. This was your first time" the King said, looking at Skipper with an amused smile. "I know that, Ringtail. Don´t you dare rubbing my nose in it!" Skipper burst out, but all the sceaming made him almost shouting in pain.

Skipper held his head and gasped. "Skipper, you are hurt, aren´t you?" Maurice said and stepped closer. "No I just have a friggin´headache, so would you please leave me alone now?" the leader growled and the lemurs backed away. "Okay, okay. No reason to get grumpy" Julien said and he and Maurice left the penguin habitat, without any further comments.

The leader still had pressed his flippers on his temples and fell on his knees. "Oh god, not now" he gasped, when he felt the attack of migraine. He hadn´t had an attack for years. The last time he had one was the time before he had met his team. With blurred vision Skipper dragged himself down to the HQ. As fast as he could he went to the bathroom and took another bunch of pills, before his migraine reached its climax. Skipper had tears in his eyes, everything was getting out of controll since the team left him.

The leader had the impression that the pain increased everytime he thought of his friends. But the penguin tried to supress the memory of them. "I just need to lie down, thats all" Skipper thought and made his way out of the bathroom to the bunks. His head was still throbbing and the leader laid down with a loud groan. Images of his friends flashed through his mind and he couldn´t stop it. A painful sting drilled through his heart. "What have I done?" Skipper yelled, covering his face with his flippers...


	6. New Power, Bad Habits

**Note: I´m sooooo sorry for this extreme long update, but I had a major writers block. Anyway I´m not dead at all and I hope you enjoy this quite short (I´m sorry for that) new chapter. I know it isn´t very good, but its a start again^^ Please review!**

6. New Power, bad Habits

Skipper laid awake the whole night. Again and again the memories of his friends were haunting his mind. Everytime he saw their faces in front of him, his heart hurt even more. In the early morning hours he finally fell asleep. The leader awoke past afternoon and though he had slept soundly, he hadn´t had the strenght to get out of his bed. Still his head was pounding, so he took more and more pills to fight the pain.

"Okay, there´s no use. I´m staying in my bed today" Skipper groaned and pressed the tips of his flippers on his temples. So he stayed in bed the whole day, fortunately, no one noticed this absence. Skipper didn´t know how to handle his situation anymore, but he tried to distrack himself by reading old mission files in his bunk.

The day passed quickly and Skipper prepared himself for sleeping. Although he was in pain, he waddled into the bathroom and spread some nice, fresh water on his face. Cautiously he looked after his wounds and noticed, that they had already begun to heal. "At least, it´s getting better, day by day" he mumbled to himself and cleaned some of the cuts on his body. Skipper sighed, when he had finished, he returned to the main room. Stunned, the leader waddled to his bed and crept under the soft, warm blanket.

The penguin rested his head on his pillow and closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly. It worked, just after 15 minutes, the leader fell into deep sleep, without any nightmares this time.

The next day dawned and Skipper awoke, feeling the pain subsided a little more. He felt better than yesterday and the strength slowly returning to his body. Skipper hoped, that he´ll be fine soon again. The next week came and passed, the leader´s wounds were getting smaller and smaller everyday. But his thoughts were still stuck on the events, that had hurt him so badly. "I can´t let this happen again. I need more training" Skipper finally realized and began to train right after he was completely healthy again.

Now he had something to focus again. Skipper trained day after day, many hours until he almost collapsed from exhaustion, which was a great benefit for him, because he was able to fall asleep within minutes, without pondering, which kept him from sleeping. The only thing, that hadn´t changed, were his constantly apearing migraine attacks, everytime he had a moment of silence. But he just helped himself by taking his pills. The amount had already dramatically increased, since he had taken the first one.

But the leader didn´t care, as long he was able to do his training, he didn´t even think about damaging his own health. Skipper also kept distance to the other zoo animals because he feared to be reminded of thoughts, the leader tried to forget. Weeks passed quickly and the leader felt more and more empty on the inside. All the training didn´t satisfy him anymore and the sleeping problems came back. After he hadn´t slept for three day, Skipper finally decided to do something about it.

The penguin sneaked into a pharmacy and stole some sleeping pills, which, he thought, should solve his insomnia trouble. So he finally was able to sleep again, but just by taking sleeping pills and his painkillers. The leader noticed, that his appetite for fish or any other food almost disappeared. Two weeks after he started his sleeping pill treatment, Skipper noticed, that his body was getting thinner and thinner. But the leader tried to ignore that side effects through more and more excessive training.

Fall passed and the days were getting colder and darker. Skipper trained outside, when the first snow flakes flew down on him. But the leader seemed to have lost his sense for the time, passing so quickly. Now it had been three months since the team had left him and Skipper knew, there would come a very hard time for him being all alone, Christmas was coming and soon the pain in his heart returned without mercy.


	7. All I want for Christmas is

7. All I want for Christmas is...

Skipper knew, this was about to come. The hardest time of the year to be alone. Soon the other zooanimals started to decorate their homes with Christmas stuff and singing Christmas songs. The leader tried to distrack himself by training more and more, although his body showed him already, that he´d reached his very limits. A few days before Christmas, Skipper was trying to improve his Kung Fu skills, but the weather outside made it really hard for him. Every evening, he returned to the HQ, exhausted and his feathers drenched from the snow.

On Christmas Eve, Skipper sat on the couch, his body covered by a blanket. But he was still shivering from the coldness outside. He was staring into the gloomy nothingness of the HQ, feeling desperation taking more and more over him. Again and again the memories, which he tried to forget where circling in his mind. Like a door, that had been closed for a while and now, after it had been opened, memories were flooding his mind like a wild hungry beast, which had been locked into a cage for long time.

Skippers heart hurt like someone had torn it out with bare hands. Never before he missed something so much, that it literally caused pain. The leader sighed deeply and got up from the couch. The snowstorm was whistling outside and enforced the sad atmosphere inside the HQ. The penguin went to the wall closet, where he kept some caned tuna. He would try to eat something at least, since his stomach growled like mad. When he opened the door, the leader realized, that almost the whole tuna supply was gone. Actually he had never cared to have something to eat at home, since his team had left.

Anyway Skipper tried to reach to the upper parts of the shelf, where some cans where still left. But because of his shortness, he hardly reached them with his flipper. After he finally grabbed one of the cans, Skipper accidently pulled an old box, wich was standing on top of the cans, along and it fell down on the penguin. The leader shook his head and took a look around. Many old things surrounded him now. Old misson files, old souvenirs and something that caught his attention immediatly.

An old photograph laid in front of his feet and Skipper picked it up with slightly trembling flippers. As soon as he looked at the photo, his heart skipped some beats. It was a picture of him and his team, taken many years ago. Everyone looked happy and smiled into the camera. Skipper saw Kowalski, holding some new googles in his flippers. Then Rico with a new pair of dynamite sticks and a very young Private, sitting on Skippers lap, wearing something, Skipper gave to him, when he had just become a young adult. The leader´s very own dogtag. And Skipper himself looked like a proud, contentedly penguin, surounded by the penguins, he had loved the most in this world.

Now it was all over, Skipper couldn´t take the pain anymore. He was alone, on Christmas, with no one who he could give a present or, more important, someone, who would really care about him and showing him, that he was not just a stern, paranoid leader, but also a friend and part of a four-headed family, which would always stay together, like the closest brothers.

The leader felt desperated tears in his eyes, now he knew, that letting his team go was a fatal mistake. Skipper used to be stong and won almost every fight, he had ever fought. But all pride and power he had, seemed to be gone since his team had left. The penguin couldn´t bear the silence of the HQ anymore, he looked at the clock and it was 2350 hours already. He knew, where he had to go this night. Skipper would try something, he had lost faith in a long time ago. Stunned, the penguin climbed up the ladder, facing the icy snowstorm outside.

The other zooanimals already have gone home from the Christmas Eve Party before. Shivering from the coldness, Skipper made his way to the Central Park, where their traditional Christmas Tree was set up like the animals did every year. The leader looked to the richly decorated symbol of happiness and friendship. Now Skipper was about to do something, he wouldn´t have ever done. He wished himself a special Christmas present. Cautiously Skipper pressed the photo closly to his heart and closed his tearfilled eyes. "Dear Santa, I know, its late already and I haven´t been the best penguin lately. Actually I´ve become the worst leader and friend on this world. I´ve lost my friends, my very own family. I dumped the only three persons in my life, who truly loved me for who I am. But I really hope, you´ll grant my very only wish. Please, bring back my friends. I never knew, how much you could miss somebody and how hard it would be staying all alone. Please, erase the biggest mistake, I´ve made in my life. I promise, I´d do anything for getting my brothers back. I miss them so much..." the last words, Skipper spoke, ripped his already hurting heart into pieces. He couldn´t speak another single word, because his voice failed, while a flood of bitter tears, where running down his cheeks.

The leader felt his body starting to tremble and he fell on his knees, still pressing the photo to his chest, letting his tears dripping upon it. He broke down in front of the Christmastree, lying on a thick cover of cold snow and cried, like he had never before until Skipper fell asleep from emotional and physical exhaustion...

At the same time, there was a familar scene going on outside New York City. On a roof of an old, wooden shack, sat a certain, small penguin, gazing sadly at the stars. "Private? It´s cold outside, don´t you wanna come in?" Kowalskis voice sounded from below. But Private couldn´t respond, he was lost in his thoughts and held a small piece of silver metal in his flippers. The old dogtag, Skipper had once given to him as a special Christmas present. "Now that you´re a young adult, you have to take responsibility of yourself. You´re a real soldier now and a real soldier should always carry this. It´s my old dogtag, it shall protect you from danger and it should never let you forget me, even though when I´m gone. I raised you like my own son, and I hope you´ll carry this with dignity and pride" Private remembered Skipper saying, when he put the chain of the dogtag around his neck, on Christmas many years ago. The young penguin felt a sting in his heart, when Skippers voice resounded in his mind. "Skippah, I miss you so much..." the young penguin whispered to himself, while a tear dropped down onto the only thing, which he had left from his fromer best friend.


	8. What Hurts the Most

**Note: Sorry if this chapter isn´t as good, because it was written in a rush. But I´d really appreciate your reviews but no flames please^^**

8. What hurts the most

Skipper spent the whole night sleeping under the Christmas tree. Snowflakes fell down onto his body, almost covering him completely. On the next morning, Skipper awoke, desoriented and with a blurry vision. "Hey, Skipper, wake up... We´re all here with you..." he heard a familiar voice saying softly. "P-Private?" the leader asked quickly, but he had no clear vision. He just saw a blurred image of his penguins standing on his side. But they dissappeared at once...

"Hey, Skipper. Wake up, silly penguin!" he heard Juliens voice calling and a paw slapping his face. "Ringtail!" Skipper screamed and awoke from his sleep. Dissappointed, he looked at the three lemurs. He knew, that seeing his team at his side, was just imagination, but still, a small tear dropped from his eyes. "Skipper, what are you doing here outside. Alone? On Christmas?" Maurice asked and rubbed even more salt into Skippers wound with his questions. "Uhm, I don´t know actually. Seems like I´ve become a sleepwalker" Skipper responded, nervously rubbing the back of his head. "Oh, come on, Skipper. We haven´t seen Kowalski, Rico or Private for months. Something must have happened to them and you just supress the pain!" the chubby lemure said. Now the leader had no choice than telling the lemurs the truth. He sighed loudly. "Fine. We´ve had a bad fight months ago and the team has split up. Kowalski, Rico and Private have left me and I don´t know where they are, or if they´ll ever come back. I´m... just... alone" the leader stuttered, looking sadly to the ground. "Oh, thats quite bad. Have you ever tried finding them?" Maurice asked. "What? No! I was thinking about looking for them, but they won´t ever return, because I´ve been such an idiot and jerk. Why should they want me back?" Skipper explained sadly, trying to hide some tears.

Suddenly, Skipper got a fit of coughing. A wave of chills went down his spine and the penguin trembled from coldness. "Seems you´ve been outside here too long. You should better return to your habitat, before your cold gets worse" Maurice concluded. "Guess, you´re right..." Skipper said weakly and got up on his feet, which had trouble carrying his weight. "Oh, god..." the leader whispered, putting his flipper on his slightly aching head. The lemurs watched him passing by. Maurice looked after him with a sad and worried expression, while Julien and Mort just shrugged.

Slowly Skipper retruned to the HQ, still holding the photo in his flippers. His body seemed to loose more and more strength, even climbing down the ladder was pretty hard for him. Exhausted he laid down on his bunk, rubbing his temples. "Is this supposed to be my Christmas present? Getting sick? Well, seems like I don´t deserve something else..." Skipper muttered to himself, curling up in his bed. His eyes were burning as he closed them.

At least he fell asleep within minutes. But his mind wanted to torture the penguin even more. He was in a small wooden hut. His team sitting around a beautiful Christmas tree. They looked as happy as can be. The leader tried to talk to them, but they couldn´t hear him. He was like a ghost, he just could watch them being happy and cheerful. Silent tears of sadness ran down on his cheeks. "Looks like you´ve already forgotten me. You guys don´t need me anymore..." the leader whispered and walked outside the hut. He was standing in front of a wide wasteland of snow. Skipper just walked away, not knowing where his path would lead him...

The leader awoke with a loud scream, he was panting and shivering. "Just a dream, just a stupid dream..." Skipper gasped. But now he felt even worse before he went to sleep. He could hardly breathe and his chest ached at every movement. Skipper felt his eyes burning and his forhead was quite feverish. "Oh no..." he whispered and got up. But a sudden dizzy spell forced him to sit down again. Skipper sat on the edge of his bed, burying his face in his flippers. The penguin tried to breath calmly but it made him coughing even worse. Skipper screamed in pain and rolled back onto his bed, grasping his chest.

"Oh, poor Skippah..." he heard a familar voice in an obvious sneering tone. Skipper turned his head to his side and saw Private watching him. "Private, you... came back?" the leader asked puzzled and got up fast, too fast. He almost collapsed from dizzyness and stumbled. "You don´t actually think, we would ever return to you, do ya?" the little penguin said, crossing his flippers over his chest. "But you´re here, how can you say..." Skipper stuttered, but Private interrupted him. "I´m just a hallucination, created from your jerkish, sick brain" the young soldier explained. Skipper felt how Privates words, cut deep into his already aching heart.

"What?" Skipper asked, now he was completely confused. "Well, isn´t it obvious, Skipper? You´re going nuts, not just because you are sick and have a high fever. You´re becoming insane!" Kowalskis voice sounded from the shadows. The scientist stepped out from the corner and went beside Private. "But why? Why is my mind torturing me so much? I know that I´ve made a huge mistake, I´m already paying for it!" the leader called, holding his aching temples. "Not enough!" he heard Rico saying and one second later, the weapons expert appeared between Private and Kowalski.

Skipper looked at his team, his heart felt like being pierced by needles. "So how does it feel, Skipper? Being all alone and being constantly hurt, because you´re weak by yourself, huh?" Private sneered with a gloating grin on his face. Skipper didn´t know what to answer, he felt his heart racing faster and faster. He realized, that this cold was worse than he thought. "You´re not my cute, naive Private!" Skipper gasped and coughed "Oh feeling bad, Skipper?" Kowalski asked and the other penguins chuckled from seeing their former leader being sick. Skipper couldn´t bear being mocked any longer, his chest hurt from coughing and his headache was driving him crazy. "Just leave me alone, you´re just a stupid hallucination. Get away!" the leader screamed, pressing his flippers on his feverish head.

"You are alone, Skipper. Tell me, what is it worth living for, when you have no friends in your life?" the scientist asked curious. "Yes, Skippah, you are all alone. No one would care if you were dead actually" Private explained cheerfully. "You want me to die? My own subbconscious wants me to die?" Skipper asked them, shocked. His team simply nodded and the leader sank down on the wall. He was coughing virgorously, feeling his bronchi making it hard for him to take a deep breath. The leader was desperated, he was quite ill and feverish and his team was mocking him. Well, not really, but it was enough to hurt Skipper even more.

"It´s the best when I get back to sleep. You can´t bother me, when I´m sleeping..." the leader realized and struggled to get on his feet. With last strength he supported himself on the wall, while the team was watching him, laughing. "Oh look at him, he´s about to pass out!" Private called, while Rico was holding his stomach from laughing. The leader tried to ingnore them and laid down on his bunk. He grabbed the small can of sleeping pills and swallowed three at once. "Goodbye, hallucination" Skipper whispered with a grin. "Yeah, goodbye, Skippah. We hope you´ll never wake up again!" Private said and dissapeared into the darkness again, along with Kowalski and Rico when Skipper closed his eyes...

It was evening, when Maurice was getting worried about Skipper´s condition. "He was so depressed and sick, you majesty. Don´t you think, we should pay him a visit?" the chubby lemur asked the King. "Well, he really was acting quite weird, but the penguins are acting always weird" Julien answered. "He looked so sad" Mort added with a sad expression on his face. The king sighed. "Fine, let´s go for a visit" Julien groaned and the lemurs made their wayto the penguins habitat while the snowstorm outside was getting heavier.

Julien, Maurice and Mort entered the HQ through the hatch, snowflakes and cold air also waved in. But they felt, that it was unusually cold in the penguins home. It was quiet and no one showed up. "Uhm, anybody here?" the lemur called into the darkness, but no one answered. "Maybe he´s out, well, I gonna switch the light on first" Maurice said and walked to the wall beside the ladder.

A second later, the HQ was lit and they were finally able to see something. They looked around, but suddenly they noticed Skipper lying in his bunk, covered by a thick blanked. "Oh, sorry, Skipper. We didn´t want to wake you up... Skipper?" Maurice asked suspiciously and stepped closer to the sleeping leader. He heard quiet, faint moans through the penguins slightly open beak and became more and more suspicious.

"Uhm, Maurice, we better let him be sleeping, before he kicks us out" Julien said, thoughtfully, but Maurice didn´t listen to him. The chubby lemure felt, that something was wrong with Skipper. "Skipper, hey? Can you hear me?" the old lemur asked and approached the leader more closely. But the penguin didn´t respond, his eyes still shut tightly.

"Hey, are you okay?" Maurice asked a little louder, but Skipper remained sleeping. "Is there something wrong with the leader penguin?" Mort asked and walked beside Maurice. "I don´t know actually. I never knew, that he was such a heavy sleeper" Maurice said, shrugging. "Hey, Skipper wake up" the lemur added and touched the leaders flipper.

Maurice startled. "Oh god, he´s hot" he said, becoming more and more concerned. "Uhm, Maurice? He´s not hot, I´m mean look at him..." but Julien couldn´t finish the sentence, because Maurice let out a frightened gasp. "He´s high feverish! He´s not just sleeping, he´s unconscious!" the old lemur proclaimed and laid his paw on Skippers forhead and neck. "Skipper, wake up, come on!" Maurice said, gently shaking Skipper, but without any reaction.

"He´s sick, very sick. We need to get him to the vet." the chubby lemur said, pushing his giant ear onto the penguins chest. "Uh, no. Why should we do that?" Julien asked confused, not knowing about the danger, Skipper was in. "His heart is racing, Quick, we need some help!" Maurice yelled, trying to lift the unconscious leader out of the bunk. "Why?" the king asked, slightly annoyed. "He might die, you majesty! He has extremely high fever, his heartrate is incredibly high and he has lost consciousness. We have to get him to the doctor, before his brain melts!" Maurice explained in a loud, commanding voice.

Finally Mort and Julien understood. "Okay, I get it. We need to help him fast!" Julien said, his voice sounded very concerned. Slowly they got Skipper out of the HQ and faced the heavy snowstorm. Maurice carried the unconscious leader. It took long before they stood before the Animal Care Center. Quickly they knocked the door, hoping there would be someone, who could help Skipper.


	9. Hospitalized

**Note: I´m so sorry for the long update, I hope you´ll like the next chapter. Please review^^**

9. Hospitalized

Skipper was in complete darkness. His body felt numb and he couldn´t move at all. His eyes were shut tightly just his slow, weak breathing indicated that he was still alive. "Why can´t I remain like this forever? Feeling no pain or guilt?" the leader thought to himself as his senses slowly came back to him. Skipper didn´t know what had actually happened to him or where he was. He couldn´t open his eyes, he could just listen to the sounds surrounding him. A constant, reapeatly beeping sound, a male and a female voice talking. The smell of disinfectans where penetrating his nosestils.

The penguin felt a warm, fluffy surface underneath him. But his attention focused now on the two people. "I´ve never seen a penguin having a massive pneumonia like this. He was lucky, that someone has taken him here. He would have been dead if he would still be in his habitat. How could this happen?" the male voice asked in an obvious reproachful tone. "I don´t know, his mates have disappeared as well. I don´t know how this could happen" the female voice explained annoyed.

"Well, Alice. I gave him some high dosed antibiotics and antiphlogisic medicine. But if he doesn´t get better within a few hours, I can´t help him anymore. Besides, he has lost half of his weight within a few months. His condition is more then critical. I´ll keep him at the ICU until he´s getting better. I´ll also give him some nutrients to stabilize his weight and immune system" the male voice explained. The next thing Skipper heard was a quiet `fine` and a door shutting.

15 minutes after the conversation, Skipper slowly managed to open his eyes slightly. Everything was blurred around him, but he noticed that he was lying inside a cage. He was at the Animal Care Office. After a few seconds his vision became more clear. He looked around. The leader was attached to a heart monitor and a IV drip needle had been thrust into he veins of his left flipper. A faint moan escaped his beak when he felt, the doctor was ausculating him with a cold stethoscope. "Easy, buddy. You´re going to be okay..." the man whispered and began rubbing Skippers belly in a quite gentle and comforting way.

"Okay, the rattling sounds in your bronchis have already decreased, as well as your fever. The worst trouble is passed, you´ll be fine again" the doctor explained. "I´ll never be fine again, at least not emotionally..." Skipper thought to himself. He knew, that no one could help him anymore. It was his own fault. No one could straighten up this mess again. After the doc had left the room after the examination, the leader tried to move his body.

Slowly he turned himself on his belly, but even the slightest movement drained a lot of his energy. Skipper just wanted to sleep now, just rest. So he snuggled himself into the warm, cuddly blankets, which were covering the ground of his cage. The penguin fell alsleep within a minute into a deep slumber. But his slumber didn´t last long. A few hours later he awoke, panting and fevered. Skipper took a look around, no one was here. But suddenly, he heard a low chuckle from a dark corner of the room.

"Who´s there?" the leader whispered, his voice was hoarse and almost failing from talking those simple two words. "Oh, how could I expect you to remember my name?" a familiar voice said. "P-Private? Is it you?" Skipper asked, rubbing his throbbing temples. "Of course its me. But why am I actually wondering? You´ve kicked us out!" Private said in a stern, reproachful voice.

"Private, I can´t do anything but to say sorry. But even that won´t be enough to apologize for my behaviour. I know, I´ve made the biggest mistake I could make in my life. I can´t live without you guys" Skipper gasped with all his remaining strength. "Well, it´s too late, Skipper. Too late..." Privates voice was getting more distant. "Private, no, don´t leave me. Please... stay... here..." the leader whispered, before he lost consciousness.

But Skipper was unconscious for just a few minutes. When he woke up again, he was all alone again, at least that was what he thought. "W-what happened?" he asked himself, while taking a look around, everything was silent, except for the medical devices. Suddenly, he felt a cold rush at his side and Skipper quickly turned around.

"P-Private, you´re back?" the leader asked again, but the little penguin just came closer, with an quite mysterious expression on his face. "Private, what are you doing?" Skipper asked confused as the young soldier knelt beside him. "You dumped us like some useless, unworthy stuff. You gonna pay for that, Skipper. The longer I look at you the more I hate you!" the little penguin growled in an unusual low voice.

"I-I´m so sorry, you are right, Private. The only thing I could do is to ask for redemtion" Skipper whimpered, slowly backing off Private. The litte penguin just threw an angry gaze at him. "No, you can´t to anything for redemtion. But maybe its the best for all of us, if you´d just be dead!" Private screamed and dashed forward to Skipper.

Private jumped onto the leader´s stomach and let his flippers tighly wrap around Skippers neck, strangulating him. "Private, please, don´t! Skipper choked, but the small bird was way stronger than him. "You´ll die, Skipper!" Private growled and sqeezed Skippers trachea vigorously. The leader tried to push Private away, but he just tore out his IV drip needle from his flipper, which started to bleed.

The leader tried to scream, but no one heard him. He squirmed but the little solder pressed his knee forcefully into Skippers stomach, which caused even more pain for the leader to hold him steady. The older penguin struggled to keep himself conscious, but he felt his life fading with every second. He looked into Privates eyes and saw just pure hate looking back at him.

Skippers flipper bleed even more and his blood spread on Privates and his own body. Suddenly the door to the room has been opened and Skipper heard the distant voice of the doctor. "What happened here?" he asked and switched on the light. Private disappeared when the room was lit and the leader laid half conscious inside his cage, breathing heavily.

"Oh god. You´ve torn open your flipper from pulling the IV drip needle out!" the doctor said, pushing a white cloth onto the wound. "Where´s Private? Was it just a nightmare?" Skipper asked himself, as his senses came back to him. He felt the doc was bandaging his flipper and making a quick checkup on him. "Your fever is quite high again, looks like you had some sort of hallucination" the doc said, pricking a new IV needle into his flipper. "So I´ll give you more medicine to supress the fever, so this won´t happen again" he added and Skipper felt a little better when the meds rushed through his veins.

Slowly he calmed down again. Tears ran down his cheeks, while he stared motionless on to the ceiling. Skippers chest moved up and down in a quick rate and his heart was pounding painfully against his rippes. Still he felt the pain in his stomach, where Private had pressed his knee into his belly. "He wanted to kill me, he wants me to be dead. Maybe its really the best... if I would just die..." Skipper muttered and started to cry.


	10. Pills and Pain

**A/N: Sorry if this chapter isn´t so good, it was written in a rush, but I hope you´ll enjoy it anyway, please review^^**

10. Pills and Pain

After the encounter with Private´s hallucination, Skipper felt like falling into a deep, black hole. Even the doc noticed, that the leader was behaving strangely and sedated him, to let the antibiotic treatment work properly. In addition to that, the doctor hooked him up to an artificial alimentation, to stabilize his weight. Skipper just slept and slept, without any dream, which could torture him. He just was floating in a warm, cozy atmosphere, without any pain. Skipper liked it and hoped that this condition would last forever. But after he was getting better, the leader faced the cold, hard reality again.

The penguin stayed two weeks in the hospital until his pneumonia was cured. But although, Skipper felt better physically, he felt even worse on the inside. He was nervous, when Alice carried him back to the HQ and even more terrified, when he went down the ladder into his dark, cold home.

Skipper stood there for a while, gazing at the emptiness, feeling that some sort of shadow was taking over him again. The shadow of loneliness. He also felt, that his drug addition was flaring up inside of him again. Skipper knew, that the pills weren´t the answer to solve his problems, but they were numbing the pain at least. Still he felt a strong desire to get back to his coma-like conditon, that he had in the hospital. The penguin didn´t want to feel anything.

Exhausted, the leader sat down on the couch in front of the TV. He turned it on to distrack himself from his dark thoughts about death and isolation. But destiny made another strike, when the Lunacors, where shown on TV. Skipper had always hated that show, but now, it felt like a connection to Private. Private. He tried to kill Skipper in his hallucination and the pain still was deep.

The leader stared to the screen, his flippers were trembling from sadness and depression. He wasn´t able to think anymore at that moment, so his flippers made their own way to the table, which was standing in front of the couch. Skipper grabbed one bottle filled with Ibuprofen pills and swallowed one by one. His mind didn´t actually care anymore, he just wanted to numb the pain.

After he had swallowed five pills at once, he felt a pleasant numbness taking over his body. But suddenly, he heared a low chuckle from a dark corner. "Not this time, Private..." Skipper mumbled to his hallucination. He remembered what it felt like, not to dream or hallucinate anything. The leader just needed to sleep. So he unwittingly grabbed the second bottle containing sleeping pills. Like he had done it before, he swallowed one by one.

But he had never taken both kind of pills at the same time before. Although he felt pretty stoned and stunned right now, Skipper felt the side effects from his drug aburse were kicking in. A wave of nausea rumbled inside his stomach, but he tried to keep the vomit inside. The room was suddenly spinning around him, making him unable to sit up. Skipper felt his heartrate raising to a critical state. With a loud groan, he felt on his back, heavily breathing. Skipper´s stomach was hurting so badly now, that he had to throw up. With a blurred vision, he looked over to his hallucination, which was approaching him. "Do you want to kill me now?" Skipper asked, gasping. But Private just chuckled again. "No, seems like you did it yourself..." the young penguin whispered. Skipper noticed Private´s voice becoming more distant. Now Skipper was getting scared of dying, he didn´t want to leave this world anymore.

But the drugs broke his intentions quickly. The leader tried to keep himself awake but his body slowly was shutting down. "No, what... have... I... done..." Skipper whispered until everything went black around him.

Somewhere outside New York in the other penguins hiding place, Private struggled to fall asleep. Since Christmas, the worries about Skipper reached their climax. He had nightmares every night. But he tried to keep his sorrows to himself. But this night, it was eating him up inside. "Skipppah..." Private mumbled, half asleep, crying into his pillow. The little penguin couldn´t hold out for longer. He had to check if Skipper was allright.

Silently he crept out of his bed, wiping his tear-filled eyes. Cautiously, he checked if Kowalski and Rico were sleeping. But his teammates enjoyed a rather peaceful slumber. "I have to do it. Now" Private thought to himself and crept out of their hideout, making his way to the Central Park Zoo, all alone.

After he had arrived, Private entered the hatch of the HQ, slowly and cautiously, trying not to make any sound. He didn´t knew what Skipper would do to him if he got caught. Step by step he made his way down the ladder into an unfamiliar dark HQ. Private looked around and startlet. Their home had lost all of its warmth and comfort. It was almost like, no one would live here anymore, it was just deserted.

Slowly he waddled into the middle of the room, Skipper was no where to be seen. The little penguin sighed in his thoughts, still he felt save at this place. Since they had left the HQ, he hadn´t felt being at home like now

It had been three months now since the team split up and Private´s wish to return was growing second by second. The little penguin looked around, everything looked like when they had left. Even the floor was sparkling clean. "Skipper seemed to make everyone believe that he´s fine on his own" Private thought, with a worried undertone.

But he didn´t see Skipper. Private couldn´t decide if this was good or bad. He didn´t have an idea how the leader would react towards him. This thought caused a unpleasant sting in his heart. He really missed his leader, but Kowalski has forbid him to see him, since he and Rico left the team in a nasty fight with Skipper.

Quietly the little penguin went towards the TV, but then he saw something, that made him gasp in shock. Skipper laid on the couch, his eyes shut tightly. Slowly Private approached his former friend, but with every step he became more and more worried. Skipper looked pretty exhausted and sick. He had deep edges under his eyes and his body was covered with several scars and bruises.

He took another step forward and almost stumbled over two small bottles, filled with pills. Private gasped again and lifted them from the ground. Shocked he read what had been written on the lables. The one bottle contained sleeping pills and the other one contained painkillers. Both of the bottles were almost empty. Sadly he looked down on the floor again and noticed a small, dark puddle right beside the couch, probably vomit.

"Oh dear, I didn´t expect to find him in this state. Looks like he really needs our help" Private thought and shighed quietly. He wasn´t afraid anymore if Skipper would notice him, actually the little penguin couldn´t believe that his brave leader was addicted to drugs to overcome his days. Cautiously he put the pills on the table and waddled beside Skipper. The leader was totally passed out, but Private had the impression that he wasn´t just sleeping. He was almost sure, that Skipper was unconscious from taking all the pills.

Private looked at him and if Skippers chest wouldn´t be rising and falling, he looked like he would be already dead. Private couldn´t stand the sight of his poor leader anymore, cautiously he put his slightly trembling flipper on Skippers belly. Another shock made Private gasp, this time even louder. The leader was totally emaciated, like he had lost half of his weight in those three months. Private´s flipper gently glided up to Skippers chest, where he felt every single rib through the leader´s feathers and skin. But despite that, he rubbed small comforting circles, trying to show his compassion, even when Skipper didn´t knew, that the little penguin was here.

"Skipper... what have you done to yourself?" Private whispered, supressing a sob. He felt so much sympathy for his friend, although he knew, it was Skippers own fault. But now Private just felt his heart stinging painfully while seeing his leader like that. He had never seen him being weak or depressed before, but what he saw know was even worse than he could have ever imagined.

Suddenly Skipper begann to murmur something in his sleep. His voice sounded hoarse even though he was just whispering almost not understandable. "Help me, please come back... Help me, team..." the leader muttered in an utterly desperated voice. Private knew that his leaders subconscious wanted them back, although Skipper wouldn´t probably never admit.

Hearing his friends unwittingly cry for help caused that some tears where dropping down his feathery cheeks. Private didn´t know what to do now. He couldn´t stay here, but he also couldn´t leave Skipper to his fate. But he was afraid what Kowalski would say, when he found out that he was here. So he had no choice than to return to their hiding place.

But Private decided to stay a few more minutes at Skippers side. He heard him quietly groaning, which caused more painful stings into his stomach. "I´m here, Skipper. I´m right here with you. I´m so sorry for what had happened. I didn´t wanted this to happen. I ´ve never wanted to leave you. I wish, I could help you now..." Private thought sadly, while he still gently stroked Skippers belly, like he would try to comfort him even though the leader was unconscious...


	11. The First Step Forward

**Note: Sorry for the shortness and possible spelling erros, but it was written in a rush, but I hope you´ll enjoy it anyway, Please review^^**

11. The First Step Forward

Private watched Skipper sleeping and became tired as well. The young penguins head sunk down onto his leaders chest, where he fell asleep, soundly snuggled onto Skippers chestfeathers. But his sleep didn´t last long, the older penuin began tossing and turning, shortly before waking up. "Skipper?" Private asked confused and put his flipper on Skippers forehead, feeling a slight fever burning up.

"Skipper, hey, wake up!" the small penguin said, holding his leaders face in his flippers. Skipper mumbled something and opened his bloodshot eyes. But within a second, his face turned into an angry expression. "Get away from me!" Skipper screamed and pushed Private off him. "B-But Skippah..." Private stammered, backing away slowly. "I thought the pills would make you go away, but it seems like, I haven´t swallowed enough", Skipper mumbled to himself, now ignoring Private. The young penguin was so confused but he assumed that his leader used drugs to numb his pain. "Skipper, you don´t have to take those pills. I don´t want you to become sick or worse" the small penguin exclaimed, but the leader didn´t pay any attention to him.

The leader looked around, looking for his pills. "They have to be here somewhere" he mumbled to himself again. "Skipper, listen to me. I´m sorry for all, what had happened. I don´t wish anything more than returning to you. I sneaked out, without Kowalskis permission to look after you. I miss you, Skippah!" Private cried with tears in his eyes. Now Skipper turned to him. "Oh like you would care. You have tortured me for weeks now. You even wanted to kill me. So why should I listen to you, you hallucination!" the leader snapped, cold hearted. "´What are you talking about? I´m not a hallucination, I´m right here with you. And I do care about you, because you´re my best friend and like a father to me!" Private cried back, now upset and emotionally hurt.

Skipper thought for a moment, those hallucination have tried to trick him before, so he had his doubts. "How can I trust you?" Skipper asked. "Skipper, if I would be a hallucination I would hurt you, like you said. But if I´m not, I won´t do that!" Private said and ran to Skipper, hugging him as tight as possible. The leader gasped in surprise. "Private, what are you doing? You... really... are... the real Private?" Skipper stammerd.

"Of course I am. I´m back!" Private cried into Skippers feathers. The leader felt the little one´s heart pounding against his own. He felt he was actually here and not just trying to hurt him.

Suddenly Skipper hugged him back and started crying too. "Oh, Private. I missed you. I can not take anymore living without you guys. I´m begging you, please come back to me!" the leader mumbled. "I would stay here forever" Private answered and let him go again. Skipper looked into Private´s face, seeing his still tear filled eyes. Slowly the leader raised his flipper to wipe the tears away. "Don´t cry, little solier..." he whispered with a slight smiling on his face. Private smiled back. "I could say the same, Skipper. You don´t need to cry anymore, because I´m here again" Private said.

But all of the sudden, Skipper pressed his flippers on his temples. "Damn migraine, I think I have to take another pill..." he whispered and turned away from Private. The litte penguin gasped, because he knew, what the drugs had done to his leader. "Skipper, no! You don´t need that stuff, you can live without drugs!" the little soldier said, running after Skipper, who has made his way to the table, where a new, small bottle of Ibuprofen was standing.

"But I need them, they keep me alive. They take away the pain, Private" Skipper answered almost stunned by his addiction. But Private just tackled him down to the ground. "Skipper, listen to me. You don´t need them. I´m here and you will feel better when Kowalski and Rico return to you too" the small bird said, grabbing his leaders flippers.

Skipper looked into Privates eyes and felt his headache was getting easier. "Thank you, Private" the older penguin gasped and closed his eyes. "Come on, Skipper. I´ll take you to our hiding place" Private said, a little more cheerfully. But in this moment, they heard a weird noise coming from behind Private´s First Price Fishportrait. "Who´s there?" Skipper asked, raising his flippers to attack position. "Hello pen-gu-ins!" a very familiar voices sounded and the entrance snapped open. A flood of red lobsters were entering the HQ.

"Blowhole, where are you?" Skipper barked, kicking off some lobsters and protecting Private from them. "Oh I´m not actually here, Skipper. Lobster one, give him the smartphone!" Blowhole ordered and one of the lobsters gave Skipper the small device. "Greetings, my arch enemy. I´ve been spying on you for a few months now. And by the way, you look terrible, Skipper" the evil Dolphin said, with a chuckle. "Yeah I got that" the leader answered and smashed the cellphone against the wall.

"Hey that thing was expensive, get him!" one of the lobsters orded and all of them attacked Skipper at once, like a flood of approximately hundred of those sea animals. "Skippah!" Private screamed, but one of Blowholes minions knocked him out. Around 15 Minutes later, the little penguin awoke with a bad headache. But he didn´t care. "Skipper, no!" Private cried. He knew he had to go after him, but he also knew, that he couldn´t save Skipper alone. "It´s time to bring back the whole team..." Private whispered and made his way to the other penguins hiding place. "Hold on, Skipper. We´ll save you!"


	12. A Friend in Need

**Note: Sorry if this chapter is a little rushed, but I hope you enjoy it**

12. A Friend in Need

As fast as he could, Private ran back to their hiding place. When he opened the door, Rico and Kowalski were staring at him with puzzled expressions on their faces. "Where have you been, Private? We were worried sick!" Kowalski asked reproachfully. "Sorry, Kowaski. I know you´re going to be mad at me, but I was with Skipper last night. Blowhole kidnapped him and we have got to save him, right away!" the little penguin panted, trying to catch his breath.

Kowalski was shocked about the news, because had Private forbidden to visit Skipper ever again. "You broke our rules, Private. Skipper is no longer our business." the scientist answered lackadaisially. But the small penguin interrupted him immediatly. "I don´t care for the rules. Skipper is still my friend and I´m going to risk my life to help him. We still are a team, no matter what´ll ever happen!" Private cried at Kowalski, who froze in shock.

"Private, I know you miss Skipper, he has always been your father figure, but you need to learn to let go." the scientist tried to explain, but a small flipper slapped and silenced him. "Fine, you might don´t care! But I´ll never let my Skipper down! Our absence has done enough damage to him! He´s a wreck of his former self, he´s addicted to pills and suffering from terrible hallucinations and nightmares. You haven´t seen him, it´s like his soul is dying. We need to help him, now!" Private screamed with tears in his eyes.

Rico watched both arguing penguins, but after Private had finished his last sentence, he walked beside the small penguin. "You coming too?" he grunted as he joined Privates rescue mission. Kowalski had no choice now, deep inside his heart, he wished for nothing else but returning to the HQ again. The tall penguin sighed and joined his friends. "And where are we going to look for him?" Kowalki asked and Private sadly looked down to his feet. He had no idea where Blowhole was hiding, but in that moment, Kowalskis smartphone rang.

"Greetings, penguins. Nice to see you again, my enemies." Blowhole said as he appeared as video call on the smartphone. "Where did you get my number... I mean, where is Skipper?" the scientist asked, slightly confused. "Oh Skipper is here with me, and I invite you to witness the premiere of my latest invention. You can guess, who´s the test person" the dolphin chuckled. "No, what have you done to Skipper?" Private cried horrified. "Visit me at my old home in coney island, than you can say goodbye to your former leader." Blowhole said and ended the video call.

"Quick, we have to get to coney island!" Kowalski ordered and the penguins made their way to Blowholes hideyout. It took about two hours as they arrived, but the penguins where confused about getting there so easily. "This is a trap, I´m 99,9 percent sure" Kowalski whispered as they arrived at the entrance to Blowholes lab.

But before someone could answer, the door has been opened and the penguins stepped in. "Welcome to my lab, my dear enemies. I´m glad you had time for a visit." Blowhole chuckled as he appeared in front of them. "Where´s Skipper?" Private screamed threatening. "Oh, small Private, just follow me, you´ll see him in a minute." the dolphin explained and led the penguins to an even larger room, with a lot of machines and evil devices. The penguins´ hearts skipped a beat as they looked at Skipper, who had been chained to the wall, motionless, without any sign of life in his body.

"Is he d-dead?" Private stammered nervously. "Not yet, young Private. Take a look at my latest invention at first." Blowhole said, pointing at Skipper. Now the penguins noticed a solid metal band around Skippers chest, with a small quarter shaped device right above their leaders heart. "What is that supposed to be?" Kowalski asked curiously. "Oh I call it a heart-controll-system. It´s a device with that I can control Skippers heartbeat and vital functions. I´m able to slow his pulse down, shortly before death, or I can make his heart racing to bring it to a tachycardia, which would kill him any second. Frankly, I could do anything to his body and thus would result in forcing him to do anything for me. Besides, his system is weakened by drug addiction and a previous pneumonia. I´ve been spying on him for months and he didn´t even notice!" Blowhole explained and chuckled at the penguins frozen faces.

"No, you truly are a monster. How dare you kidnapping someone who´s unable to defend himself? You know he could defeat you when he´s at good health, so why don´t you fight fair?" Private yelled at Blowhole, who just shook his head by the penguins naivety. "Evil is not supposed to fight fair and now I´ll wake Skipper up so you can say goodbye to him, before I start running a few test with the heart controller" Blowhole said, pressed a button and the chains released Skipper from the wall, who fell to the ground.

"Wakey, wakey, Skipper!" Blowhole whispered as he pressed a red button on his scooter keyboard. Suddenly the penguins heard a faint moan coming from Skipper. "Skipper, are you okay?" Private asked nervously and ran towards his leader to help him getting on his feet. "Don´t come too close, young bird" Blowhole chuckled and sent an electric shock through Skippers body, who was screaming from pain. "Private, don´t touch him, or you´ll get shocked too" Kowalski yelled horrified. "But..." Private stammered, watching Skipper lying on the ground, heavily breathing. "Now meet your friends for the last time, my arch enemy" the dolphin said and pressed another button, which regulated Skippers heartrate to normal, so he was able to talk to his team. "P-Private...?" the leader groanded as he lifted his head from the ground.

"Yes, I´m here, Skippah. I´ve promised to save you. Kowalski and Rico are here too." the young penguin said, helping his leader to a sitting position. "K-Kowalski? R-Rico? You came to save me, after all I´ve done to you?" Skipper whispered weakly as he looked at them. The scientist and the weapons expert came closer. "Skipper, don´t worry. Everything will be just fine. I forgive you, my friend." Kowalski said with tears in his eyes.

"It´s okay, Skipper" Rico grunted, but before he and Kowalski were going to hug their leader, Blowhole shocked Skipper again, who screamed in agony. "That´s enough excusing, time to start the tests. I´m really excited how much electricity Skippers body can endure, or what I could force him to do" Blowhole said thoughtfully and pressed a few more buttons. The rest of the penguins just could watch how Skipper was suffering from pain. "Stop, please, stop. I´m begging you!" Private cried, burying his face in his flippers.

"Oh, stop crying, Private. This ain´t going to help Skipper anyway. Stop crying or I´ll make Skipper suffer even more pain" Blowhole menaced, his flipper getting closer to the buttons. "D-Don´t you dare menacing my young Private!" Skipper groaned in a threatening tone. The leader tried to get up, but his body was already too weak, so he collapsed on his belly again. "Oh, impressive Skipper. You´re still revolting, but I can even force you to kill your friends" Blowhole chuckled. But Skipper interupted him. "I´d rather die, than hurting my penguins ever again. Maybe you can hurt me, but you could never destroy our brotherhood" Skipper whispered, shivering from pain.

"Awww, ain´t that sweet?" Blowhole scoffed and held his flipper above the keybord with the buttons. But before he was able to press another one, Rico jumped at his scooter and tackled Blowhole off it. Now that the dolphin was distracted from the fight with Rico, Kowalski and Private ran to Skipper. "Skipper, are you okay?" Kowalski asked worried about his leader. "I´m fine, Kowalski. Try to get out of here, save Private and Rico. I´ll deal with Blowhole" the leader whispered grasping his chest from pain. "But, Skippah, he´ll kill you. I don´t want to loose you again!" Private cried, hugging his leader as tight as possible. "I love you too, son" Skipper groaned, snuggling his head on Privates´.

But in that moment, Blowhole had managed to get to his scooter again, after a wild fight with Rico. The crazy penguin prepared for another attack, but Blowhole had some more ideas in his mind. "You know what? I can´t hurt you enough to defeat you in a fight, but I can hurt you more by killing your friend, whom you love and care about. Well, seems like I can´t force Skipper to hurt you, but I still have the upper flipper in this game. Say goodbye, Skipper!" Blowhole screamed angrily and pressed a big red button on his keyboard.

A second after, a voice echoed in the wall. "Heart-Control Overload sequence initiated. Cardiac death of test person in 30 seconds..." the voice said and became silent. "Have fun, saving him, penguins" Blowhole giggled and disappeared through a trapdoor, along with his scooter and the keybord, which controlled Skippers device.

"No, Skipper!" Private yelled and cried on his leaders chest. "Rico, I need a pair of pincers!" Kowalski ordered and Rico spit it out. "Hold on, Skipper. I won´t leave you to your fate" the scientist said and tried to break the metal band, but only the pincers broke at the attempt."Rico, a saw!" Kowalski ordered. But this attempt failed too. "Well, I guess this means goodbye, my friends..." Skipper mumbled and closed his eyes, hiding his tears. "No, don´t worry, Skippah, We´ll save you. I promise" Private exclaimed in horror, but in that moment the last second of the countdown passed.


	13. Tears

**Note: Sorry for not updating for sooo long. But work is sucking up so much time. Well, here´s the next chapter, the song lyrics at the end where written by W.A.S.P - What I´ll never find. Kinda my personal theme track for writing this story.**

**Link for youtube: watch?v=MAY7fw3VuNE**

13. Tears

With petrified faces, the penguins turned to Skipper, who collapsed just in the moment, where the first electric shock went through his body. "Skipper, no!", Private shrieked and wanted to run to his leader, but Kowalski held him back. "Don´t touch him, Private. Or you´ll get shocked too!", the scientist screamed in panic. Meanwhile Skipper whithred in pain. Every muscle in his body tightened by spasms and let him go through unbearable agony.

"Oh God, what do we do now?", Private screamed horrified, but even Kowalski had no idea, how they could get the Heart-Controler off Skippers chest. Desperately he turned to Rico, who just stood there, petrified by fear.

"Blowhole, stop! I´ll do everything you want me to do. I´ll surrender!", young Private cried and collapsed, weeping. But the evil dolphin didn´t respond to Privates plea. Just Skippers agonized screames echoed in the room. "Skipper, you have got to hold out, we´ll think of something. Just stay alive, for god´s sake", Kowalski stuttered in desperation and looked around, hoping to find something that could help his leader.

After the first wave of shocks has stopped for a while, Skipper just laid on the ground, his eyes closed and heavily breathing. "Oh God, Skippah are you alright?`", Private asked with wet eyes.

"Don´t come closer, Private. I don´t want you to get in danger. Looks like, this is the punishment for all I´ve done wrong...", the leader gasped. He hardly could think clearly. His heartbeat was throbbing in his earholes and his chest hurt with every breath.

"Skipper, we already have forgiven you. Everything will be alright...", Kowalski said, comforting him. But in that moment a second stream of shocks went through Skippers body, even more intense. Suffering form spasms, the leader turned to his side, so his friends couldn´t see his face, which was contorted with pain. "What shall we do? We can´t just stand there and watch!", Private cried desperately, but the others were just too terrified.

After the second wave of shocks had ended, Skipper laid motionless on the floor, unconsicous. The edges of the metal band already have cut in Skippers skin, so some blood stuck on his white chest feathers. Besides all the warning, the young Private ran to his leader. "Skipper, talk to me!", the young penguin shrieked in panic, but Skipper didn´t react to any of his actions. Private was too late, apparently. The leaders body just laid there without any sign of life. "No, please, don´t be...", Private whispered and put his flippers on Skippers neck, where he felt some weak pulse, fortunately.

"D-Don´t cry, son. W-We´ll meet again, in h-heaven. I-I´ll always watch over y-you guys. I-I love you, my son.", Skipper gasped with hoarse voice and closed his eyes after he had said his very last words. "No, no. Nooo!" Private screamed and began virgorously pulling on the Hear-Controler after he couldn´t feel his leaders heartbeat anymore. Tears were streaming from his eyes and dripped down on the device.

Kowalski and Rico watched the heart-ripping scene in silent grief for their dead leader. But suddenly the scientist noticed tiny sparkles flashing from the Heart-Controler when Privates tears fell down on it. "Private! Keep weeping! The device isn´t waterproof. It could maybe destoy it!" Kowalski called and went along with Rico to Private, who was holding Skipper in his flippers. Private quickly realized what to do. He wiped some tears from his eyes and smeared them on the Heart-Conroller. Kowalski and Rico did the same until the metal band released Skipper from a electric overide. It fell to the ground to the side of their lifeless leader...

Skipper fell into darkness. Like fog it surrounded his body. With his eyes closed he floated in nothingness. "Well, its over now. No one can save me anymore...", Skipper thought.

_Will I wander alone, forever´s lonely road of time_

_Will I have no name, for destiny´s I can not find?_

"Will they even miss me? After all I´ve done? They said, they have forgiven me, but I can´t believe it. Not after I´ve hurt them so much.", Skipper sobbed as those thoughts went through his mind. The leader remembered those nights his loneliness was unbearable for him. He still felt the emptiness in his heart, like someone would have torn out big parts of it. He cried alot in these nights, where the mistake he´d made was almost killing him.

_Can you hear me? Can you hear me in the night?_

_Will you feel me if you leave me, will I cry?_

_Can you hear me, can you feel me? Say goodbye..._

Skipper remembered how much it hurt, when he had those hallucinations. He still remembered Private saying: "You don´t have a heart, Skipper. You´ll never will have". The leader swallowed his tears, while he was still floating in the darkness, he felt his dead heart, lying heavily in his chest. Like a stone, which gained weight, with every memory. "Private, listen! I do have a heart! You know? I feel it exactly, because it hurts like never before since you guys have left me!", Skipper remembered, he was screaming after the hallucination. But Private had never responded. He had been alone again.

_I´m alone, all alone, I´m alone..._

_I´m alone, all alone, I´m alone..._


	14. Minutes to Midnight

14. Minutes to Midnight

"Skipper! NOOOO!", Private yelled when he felt Skippers heartbeat failing finally. Kowalski and Rico were petrified from shock and grief and starred at the young penguin, who bend himself desperately over his leaders lifeless body. "Kowalski, what shall we do now? We can´t let it end this way! We can´t let him go! Please help me!", the small penguin begge, because he still hoped, that the scientist would have any idea. "Private... I-I don´t... know what to do...", Kowalski replied, covering his face in shame and desperation.

"We have to do something! Skipper wouldn´t ever have given up this easy!", Private cried, enraged by grief. Quickly, he started pushing down on Skippers heart area with his flippers, trying to make his friends dead heart beating again. A lot of times, he has seen this procedure on TV, so he thought, it couldn´t be that wrong. "Come on, help me!", Private yelled at his friends and this time, his words seemed to cause action. Kowalski exactly knew, what the little penguin was about to do, so he knelt down beside his leaders face. "If his heart can´t beat by itself, we´ll make it for him. That´s what we owe him.", Kowalski said and winked at the young penguin, who still tried to revive Skipper by CPR.

Kowalski tried to give his leader some breaths in regulary dosages everytime Private paused to pump Skippers chest. Soon, he and Private got into a steady rhythm to keep Skippers blood circulation stable. "Come on, Skipper. You won´t get rid of us so easily. Wake up! NOW!", the scientist screamed empathicly, because he knew, that they were running out of time for reviving their leader without him getting serious brain damages and saving him from death.

_Meanwhile Skipper was still floating in a foggy darkness. He just accepted his destiny now. He felt nothing anymore, like he has just died on the inside. Like a dead body, he was gazing into the dark nothingness. "I won´t ever return. I´ve let you all down.", this words where circling in his from sadness filled thoughts now. The cold, hard stone inside his chest, which used to be his heart once, gained more and more weight and seemed to draw his body more and more into an ocean of darkness..._

Minutes passed and Private and Kowalski were soon pretty exhausted. But it hasn´t changed anything yet. Rico was just able to watch, his body seemed to have lost any connection to his brain from fear. With the time, which seemed to pass faster than ever, the desperation and the feeling of helplessness were rising inside their hearts again. After the scientist tried another time to feel Skippers pulse, he suddenly sat back. "Private, stop it. It´s useless...", Kowalski mumbled and wiped tears from his eyes. "What? What are you talking about? It´s not over yet! I can´t let him die. I JUST CAN´T!", Private screamed horrified and desperated at the same time. Tears were cascading down his cheeks and dripped down on Skippers chest.

_The realm of the dead was just getting closer for the leader. He just would slip into the afterlife. Nothing would prevent it, he thought. Skipper closed his eyes and hoped, that it would happen fast. If he would pass this line, he´d cut the line, which was still connecting him to life. "It´s over... It´s almost done... I´ve suffered enough...", the leader whispered to himself as the death was already spreading his arms to welcome him. But suddenly the fog was forming itself into a for Skipper very familiar person. "Kowalski? Is that you?", Skipper asked puzzled and tried to look at his friend. "Skipper, I´m so sorry. A huge part of this mess is also my fault. It mustn´t have ended this way. We truly were a team and it was also my task, to help you to make the right descision. Even if that means to be against you, just to help you to do the right thing. But this time I´ve failed, I should have stopped you before this has all begun.", Kowalski explained with calm but a sad undertone in his voice._

_"Thanks, you´ve always been a loyal friend to me. But destiny seemed to have chosen to end it this way.", Skipper replied and sighed. Suddenly another figure was formed by fog right beside him and took the shape of Rico._

_"Rico, I could´t always count on you. You have always been at my side and you´ve commited any risk and danger with me. I thank you for all those great years you were part of this team and part of my heart.", Skipper whispered quietly and recieved one of Ricos rare, tenderly smiles. "I love you, my brother.", the penguin grunted, this time pretty understandable._

_Another shadow appeared and took Privates shape. Tears were sparkling in his eyes but his face showed an encouraging smile. "Private, my cute, little Private...", Skipper gasped and smiled back at him. "You´ve always been my true role model, Skipper. You´ve raised and educaded me since I was a little chick. You´ve always been the father I´ve never had...", Private said. "I love you too, son. But now you´ve grown up and you don´t need me anymore. Looks like your education has ended here, you´ll get along on your own now. Now you are a soldier of whom I couldn´t be any prouder. But now I gotta leave you and I hope you´ll never forget me.", the leader whispered and let his tears stream down his cheeks._

_Now he was ready to face death. But before he was about to pass the line to the afterlife, his three best friends stood right in front of him..._

"Private, I know you can´t accept his death. But Skipper won´t return to us.", Kowalski weeped and stopped his attempts of CPR. "NOOO, SKIPPAAAH!", the little soldier screamed on top of his lungs. He pressed his face desperately on Skippers chest and just cried his loss. Rico tried to calm him, but as the young penguin looked up, he saw the Heart-Controler, were still electric sparks were flying from. Suddenly Private had an idea and pushed Rico aside. "Rico, rubbergloves, now!", the small penguin ordered and even without wondering, Rico spat them out.

"If this thing stopped Skippers heart, it maybe could make it beat again!", Private called with a new mixture of confidence and desperation. He exactly knew, that this would be their last chance. In a second he was at Skippers side again, holding the Heart-Controler in his flippers. "Now its all or nothing!", the little penguin said and pushed the device down on Skippers heart area, to give his body another wave of electric shocks. But in that moment, Private pushed it down it started to burn Skippers feathers. After five seconds the leader had a small burn on his chest, because the Heart-Controler was damaged too much and was giving Skipper the last source of electricity it had left.

"Private, what are you doing?", Kowalski screamed horrified, because he was too surprised by Privates last desperate action. "I´ll get him back to us. Destiniy will not win this time!", the small soldier replied and pressed the device ever closer to Skippers heart.

_What are you doing?", the leader asked puzzled, as his friends formed a barrier between him and the gates of the realm of the dead. "We did not intend to say goodbye. We´ll get you back to us. We can do it, together!", the penguins said and gathered around their leader. "But I´m dead, my heart isn´t beating anmore.", Skipper answered. "Skipper, nobody is really dead, as long you still have someone out there, who loves you. And with us it makes even three people, who truly love you. A litte spark of life is still inside you.", Kowalski explained and put his flipper on Skippers chest. The leader felt better immediately. "You must not leave us...", Rico said and put his flipper on Kowalskis. "...Because we really love you!", Private added and finished the sentence by putting his flipper on Ricos. _

_Skipper felt new life raising inside him. He felt something cracking in his chest, his heart was beating again after it was free from the cold stone coat. "Now, come back to us. You are alive again.", his friends said and dissappeared into a bright light, which erased the darkness from the leader..._

"Skipper, can you hear me? Talk to me!", Private said, holding his now just unconsicous leader in his flippers. He really has opened his eyes after the last shock wave. "Private, you did it", Kowalski jubelated and hugged Rico, who was standing right beside him. "You did it, Skippaah. You´re back!", Private cried from joy and carressed Skippers cheek tenderly.

"N-No, P-Private, you guys did it. You managed to save me...", Skipper whispered weakly and sank down in Privates hug, just relieved, he was alive again.


End file.
